Lesley Postle wrote:
"Grief and loss can occur when the loved one is still alive, yet their personality and individuality has gone. Your spouse with dementia or Alzheimer's is gradually changing before your eyes and is becoming more and more dependent. You grieve for the loved one you had, whilst caring for the totally dependent person they have become."
"This long, slow loss of a loved one is a painful, difficult time for those coping with their home care. The husband who used to do all the DIY, gardening and deal with the household finances becomes like a child who has to be told what to wear and when to eat. The wife who used to be a great cook and homemaker becomes the child again. She has to be given food to eat, she can’t shop anymore as she comes home with pounds of tomatoes and nothing else. They are still with you, they have the same smile, they may appear outwardly normal, but the ability to cope alone is gone and they become totally dependent. Grief for Spouse with Dementia:"